Not My Mom’s Kitchen

My sister is ten years older then me and because of that had had a great effect on my life. Molding me into who I am today, she has been ever present and always willing to help. I wouldn’t consider us two peas in a pod but more like two flowers from the same garden. Roots strong, community shared and life growing along side each other. We have never lived more then an hour apart in my 42 years of life. After our mom died, she is one of the only people I know I can depend on to help me, in any way. I believe she knows the same for me. As I reflect on my lifetime relationship with my sister, I can pinpoint a few moments of wisdom- but one stands out as truly poignant.

After moving in with my future husband at 22 years old, we were struggling to communicate. Expectations and daily life colliding as we tried our best to be adults. I found myself frustrated with the situation. As I referred to my parents relationship and the way my dad responded to my mothers requests- I felt as if my relationship wasn’t operating in the same manner, and it left me wondering if this was the place for me… My sister having been married for some time at this point with three kids in tow, gave me the best advice.

She said: Every relationship is different. No two are the same. The dynamic between my parents wasn’t meant to be the dynamic between every couple in the world. I was like huh? Wait. Not every man jumps to do what his wife says? You mean I don’t get to be the boss? Huh?!?!!!! What?!

Mind.

Blown.

Now here I am 20 years later, and married for 16 years. My relationship is very little like my parents and I couldn’t be happier. We are a team in every aspect. We share the duties and take turns being bossy when it’s only *truly* needed. Once you can step outside of yourself and find the perspective needed for the situation you are in, life comes into focus. Dreams become goals and partnerships become foundations. I’m forever grateful ❤ happy birthday Amy!